Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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