why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
