Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize