Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
