Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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