Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
