You know, be my cock's hype man.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
