3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
