Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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