Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just forgot I was standing up.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
