Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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