so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
