okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
