Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
