I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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