Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize