why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
