So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
