i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
