so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
