Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
