right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
