Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize