I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
