there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
