the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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