Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
