I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
