If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You pole danced in your parka.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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