Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
