Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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