That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
