rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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