mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
