how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize