I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize