I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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