I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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