i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize