it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I touched a dick in church today
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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