The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
