Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
