Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
