my phone needs a breathalizer
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
