he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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