I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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