Are we in a gay sports bar?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
