the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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