At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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