Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
