There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
