Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
