Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How does one acquire holy water?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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