hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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