I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
