You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
