somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
