Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
