I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
