your parents love me but you hate me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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