Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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