My friends, they love my intelligence
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
