therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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