And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I need help removing her.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
