I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just pee around me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize