How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
