Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
