is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
