Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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